6.26.25 News of the Week

Katy and Orlando Split, Jax Taylor Needs to Go, I finally watch Love Island

Move aside everyone, the stack and I are officially in our Carrie Bradshaw era!

What is my world war me, you may ask? Well, I am currently mad at Zara for calling a 32 inch inseam "full length" (that's not going to reach my ankles, you fast fashion hacks). I am undertaking the gargantuan task of trying to catch up on this season of Love Island USA. There are several books on my Libby app that are about to expire and I haven't even begun to think about the Tyler Perry sexual harassment lawsuit, so yeah, I'm fighting a lot of battles right now.

The only silver lining this week in an otherwise disastrous news cycle was Zohran Mamdani's win in NYC. The Democratic establishment will say it's a fluke, but I say primary everybody!

Now onto the news that really matters.

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom Split

I'll try not to blame myself for this breakup, but I have been pretty hard on Katy and I know that Orlando could be one of my dozens of subscribers. Or he watched her fight an HVAC hose during her concert and said "what are we doing, Legolas?"

Either way, the couple has reportedly called it quits after being engaged for seven years and naming a human being Daisy Bloom. They've apparently been having problems for a while (tracks) and the split is amicable. Sure, Jan.

This is all coming out just days before Jeff Bezos’ $10 million wedding in Venice, which both Katy and Orlando were going to attend. But now it's looking like Orlando is going stag and Katy will miss out on watching her space sister get married on a $500 million super yacht.

There are already photos emerging of Orlando chatting up Kim K. Fingers crossed that they're talking about the dummy Bezos floating in the canals behind them (the dummy is an act of protest from the Venetians, who will be forced to swim through the canals this weekend after Jeffrey rented out every water taxi in the city). Or they're shitting on Jeff and Lauren's INSANE clip art wedding initiation.

I mean, look at this thing! Butterflies, birds, stars, feathers, dragonflies, AND Venice? Pick a theme, people.

I'll have more on the wedding of my nightmares next week and whether Orlando had the wild stag weekend that TMZ has been promising. Fingers crossed!

Jax Taylor Needs to Go

Jax Taylor has been a staple on Bravo TV for over a decade. He was one of the original cast members on Vanderpump Rules, famously calling himself "the number one guy in this group."

For years, his villainy has been fueled by alcohol and cocaine as Bravo producers largely stood by and watched. But now, fans are calling for Jax to be cut from VPR spinoff, "The Valley." Which, sure. Don't give an abusive narcissist a platform (or the presidency, am I right?). But in my mind, Jax no longer being on TV should not be the biggest concern. His behaviors are so erratic and violent that the bigger concern should be the wellbeing of his estranged wife, Brittany Cartwright, and their son.

In the season two "The Valley" premiere, we learned that Jax had discovered private sexual messages on Brittany's phone between her and one of his friends. Which is fine, because she and Jax are no longer together, she had moved out, and he had no business looking through her phone. But instead of, I don't know, respecting boundaries or privacy, Jax flew into a violent rage. He flipped a coffee table, which hit Brittany, and destroyed other furniture in her Airbnb while their son was in the next room.

It was not the first time that Jax has been violent around Brittany or their son. He previously hit walls around her, belittled her, and screamed at her, all on camera. He justified the table flipping incident by saying he had an out-of-body experience. “Show me a guy that wouldn’t handle the situation the way I handled it," he said in a confessional interview.

I actually think there are a lot of men who wouldn't have done that, and most of them are not high on cocaine. Following the incident, Jax's family, Brittany, The Valley producers, and Bravo network execs encouraged Jax to go to rehab.

While there, Jax became obsessed with Brittany, enraged that she was filming without him. He would send her HUNDREDS of threatening messages like, “trust me i gave my friends your address. they are gonna stop by.” He used the security cameras in their home to spy on her, sending her texts to indicate that he was listening to her private conversations. He stopped paying their mortgage, putting their home at risk of foreclosure.

And when he got out of rehab, Brittany says that he started drinking again as soon as he got home. He refused to log out of the security cameras, suggesting he would only log out if he got to see his son, who Brittany claims he had made few efforts to see.

Brittany eventually filed for sole legal custody which…duh. And Jax is attempting a redemption tour of sorts, going on Watch What Happens Live last week to plead his case to Andy Cohen. He's pushing his changed man narrative even after being shown a poll where 0% of viewers support him. Which…duh.

This is clearly a man who only cares about being on TV. But given his behavior in rehab, I don't think it's as simple as firing him from the show (they already tried that only to bring him back 4 years later).

Bravo has enabled an abusive addict who will do anything to remain in the spotlight, and they need to take steps to help protect Brittany and her child. If this man is comfortable being abusive on camera, it's chilling to think about his behaviors behind the scenes. To paraphrase Tiffany "New York" Pollard, Jax's heart is black and he is demon possessed. And the people in his life should be protected from him.

Love Island

Everything I do, I do it for yooouuuu.

When the people (cough my writers group) ask for content, I listen and I learn and I watch as many hours of Love Island as humanly possible with a full time job (aka 3).

I've never been a Love Island fan because — and I know this is lame — but I always want one idiot couple on dating shows to find love. Sue me! I'm a secret romantic.

Love Island does not strike me as a show where anyone is going to fall in love for real. Maybe it's the bikinis, maybe it's the hard hitting questions contestants ask each other, like "what do you get at Mexican restaurants" and "do you like nature" that make me so dubious. But I'm giving it a shot and hoping two hot dummies find each other in this crazy villa.

Being only 3 episodes in out of approximately 5,000, I know that I am crazy behind. I asked a friend about Huda and Jeremiah, who seem to be the strongest couple so far, and I could sense her embarrassment for me via text. Fair enough! Huda just revealed that she is a mom to a four year old and this will shock you, but Jeremiah is not taking the news well. Who knows if those two will stay coupled up in episode four. I hate to admit it, but I am hooked enough to find out.

And I’m not alone! Viewership this season is way up; 39% of viewers are new, just like me! The show is everything you want from reality TV. It’s easy to watch with wild moments, like one contestant revealing that he has sent 1000s of nudes. Add in the fact that they all have to sleep in the same room and can’t leave the villa and you’ve got a recipe for success.

Brad Pitt's Crash Out Style

Brad…

justjared

A post shared by @justjared

Bradley…

justjared

A post shared by @justjared

What are we doing, bud? This is a crash out if I’ve ever seen one. You are a 61 year old man who has inexplicably hired Timothee Chalamet’s stylist for your F1 press tour. I know you want to look young, but seeing you in these outfits just makes me feel tired.

I know you’re dating a 30 year old (or Tate McCrae per the blinds) but this look is n’t helping you. As a fellow Missourian, I feel that it is my duty to tell you to get back in the tuxes. I know they’re not comfortable but it’s better than looking like this.

That’s it for this week! Let’s see if I can catch up on Love Island AND watch The Bear in time for next week’s letter (Narrator: she could not).

XOXO,

Emily